Saturday, December 22, 2007

uprooting anger

I have never thought much about anger until about 6 months into marriage. Call me na├»ve but I was kind of shocked to see it coming out in me. It was probably just as prevalent during times living with roommates, but roommates are different; you know they are short term. You can sweep things under the rug and just grin-and-bear-it. But with marriage, it’s clearly different for one reason- the commitment is until God decides to kill me or until He returns to take me home.
Once married, I continued with my usual sweeping anger under rug and finally it dawned on me that I didn’t want to deal with a mountain of stale dust at the 5 year mark. (Especially if I have kids and ESPECIALLY if they are anything like me!)

One day Michael (who I work for) had me order some new books that we are going to start offering at Recovery. Really, I could do to read all of them but the first one that caught my eye was “Uprooting Anger” by Robert D. Jones.
The major draw for me in this book was that I didn’t really understand anger. I have heard people talk about righteous anger and refer to Jesus in the New Testament, and God through out, having anger, so I know that righteous anger is such a thing. I also know that when my husband agrees to return a blockbuster video and then forgets, I get angry! I think my original question was do I have an argument here?! Am I allowed to vent my “righteous anger” at my husband during these times? (I mean clearly, being timely with your rentals is the Right Thing to DO! Am I right or am I right?!)

Ok, obviously I am being a bit factious, but only a bit. I really wanted to understand my anger. If it’s ungodly then with all my heart I want to know.

Let me tell you; I picked up the right book. I have seen my wicked heart and, even more, God’s graciousness so clearly. Although there has been much conviction reading this book there has also been so much joy!! My poor husband has probably grown weary of my running to him to read aloud the newest paragraph that has brought light to my eyes. I can’t think of one person who should not read this.
This book is not merely for people that yell and scream but for the people that have anger in their heart- displayed or not.

I am only on chapter 6 but had to post a little more about the content.

Chapter 1- What is anger?
Chapter 2- Is your anger really righteous?
Chapter 3- Getting to the heart of anger
Chapter 4- Repentance- the road to uprooting heart anger
Chapter 5- Changing our angry behavior: Sinful reveling
Chapter 6- Changing our angry behavior: Sinful concealing
Chapter 7- Anger against God
Chapter 8- Anger against yourself
Chapter 9- Helping others deal with their anger
Chapter 10- Why you must deal with your sinful anger

In chapter 2 he gives three criteria for righteous anger.
1.It reacts against actual sin (as defined in the bible).
2.It focuses on God and His kingdom, rights and concerns, not on me and my kingdom, rights and concerns
3. It’s accompanied by other godly qualities and expresses itself in godly ways.

Although human anger can be righteous, most is not (surprise). This book invites such opportunities to repent and drawn near to God who will provide us with grace in times of anger!

One funny story before I end this too long blog. If you haven’t picked up by now I am usually the clean freak between Jerry and I. He has this loving habit of buying a 6 pack of beer, putting it in the fridge, drinking it over a period of time and Leaving the Box in the Fridge! See, clearly the Right thing to do is to Throw Away the box. When I Lovingly Remind him to Kindly place his box in the trash he looks at me and says, “Babe, it’s my trademark move.”
Classic. :)

Friday, December 21, 2007


i know!! i am sick of looking at that old blog too! well this is not a good one now but i will hopefully be getting some good blog time over the holidays! i will say this though. this morning i was turning in my cube to return a hello and i spilt my Exxon coffee all over my jeans! PEOPLE, there is no feeling like wet jeans on your lap and legs. sick. (my sturdy Target thermal mug that i usually use would have never turned over. it's the greatest.)
then, i was helping Bex transport Bauer from fishbowl to Ziploc in the office kitchen. somehow Bauer must have tried to make a break for it cause he toppled the (large) bag off the counter! little Bauer and little Baur poop went all over and floor and... my jeans. so needless to say i can't type much right now cause all i can think about is my grossness! get me home!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Go Bears!

Every year we alternate whose homecoming game we go to. Last year was OU this year was Baylor! We headed down Friday and went to watch Sing where all the sororities and fraternities perform shows with alot of singing and dancing. Jerry's old fraternity got first place! They were awesome- now i know why all Jer's groomsmen could dance so well! Although i took like zero pictures we had a really good time. i love meeting all Jer's crazy college friends :)

During the trip my favorite pair of black flip-flops (cause they have a little wedge for my 5'1 self) broke!
{Let me insert a little side story here. i was secretly eager to be rid of the black flip-flops because the day before in the Dollar Spot at Target a little kid lost his lunch on my foot. true story. poor little guy.}
i had no other shoes except some red heals which wouldn't bode well with a tail gating party. i ended up buying these Baylor flip-flops which i actually had fun wearing!

Now if Baylor ever steps it up and becomes a threat to my Sooners i'll have to throw them away... but i think we are ok ;)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

adventures in babysitting

here's why i am praying for brunette little babies. recognise the one on the right? best little flower girl ever


So smart :)

What's more fun than watching popcorn pop??

A popcorn party!! Nemo and all :)

Sunday, October 28, 2007

behind on blogging part 2


it was UNT's homecoming so the family piled in the car to visit Scott in all his glory. he and a few roommates are cramed into a house college boy style. they have a great back yard with a Great Big tree...

the girls

the boys

and crazy brother in law

of course Jerry and Scott couldn't be shown up

i will vouch for Stephen that he had an energy drink on the drive up... no excusses for the others.

behind on blogging... feel over whelmed!! :)

Well Bex's page has most the details and Dawn's page has even more but i will tell you it was a great weekend. road tripping with Bex was everything you'd think it would be and getting some QT with Dawn made me a happy little bee. blessed to call them both my friends
what can i even say! i am am so blessed to be apart of this crazy group of people we call the Village staff. the retreat was restful, encouraging and FUN! gosh what to even write!!!?? we started off our trip amidst a massive rain poor waiting for the buses that were running a "little late". but there must be something bonding about being cold, wet and stuck in the Martin building because it really was fun and i wouldn't have changed anything

once we got to the beautiful open aired camp we ate lunch and kicked off the Krapu football tournament. i must say, the Kaizen way paid off, i caught a touch down pass and led our flag football team to win the Championship! ok we all know that's code for "i got lucky on a 'pity pass' and spent the rest of the game trying to keep out of the way haha! i was proud of myself though considering all my action in the first game consisted of me trying to get my belt on right but whatever! really it was a miracle that no one died. seriously.
photo by bex... laughing hysterically at me.
here's a pic of a few of my roommates for the week. look how cosy we are!! i love these two girls! so fun! (yes we are total nerds and completely ok with that.)

being together with out work to do you get to learn every one's quirky habits and hidden talents. here are a few: seriously funny Mafia narrating abilities, seriously good Mafia straight face abilities, fabulous hair cutting, gifted (and not so gifted, ahem JP) worship leaders, death defying enzone catches, the best flag football trash talkers, eagle-eyed referees, get-a-bloody-nose-and-keep-going girl foot ball player, marathon sleepers, awesome Aerosmith impressionist, sweet servants and coffee re-heaters, and the list goes on. who knew we were so talented?!
wish we could have stayed longer.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Welcome HUDSON!!

Baby Hudson, nephew number 2 on Jerry's side was born happliy and healthily on October 14th! Welcome little Huddie! You are loved!

(check out sarah's page to see more adorable photos!)

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

the kaizen way

So Jerry has been reading a new book called “The Kaizen Way; One Small Step can Change Your Life." The gist of it is that large feats are accomplished by a series of small steps.

Side note:
As true as that statement is it’s slightly infuriating! Almost as bad as when I was a child and didn’t want to go to sleep. I would tell my dad I wasn’t tired and he used to tell me, “Lauren, do you know how God made little children? When they are still and quite they will fall asleep.” True as that was as the time it wasn’t what a little 5 year old wanted to hear.

Anyway, so taking this on Jerry decided that “every night we should commit to picking up our apartment for 3min”. haha! Yes 3 min! But to be honest I thought his goal was not bad- sweet actually considering I am the more uptight with the status of the place.
Here’s the deal with living in an apartment, it takes about two things out of place to make it feel like we are living in a disaster zone, at least in my opinion. Jerry thinks I am loco. Don’t ask if we have ever fought about this… So the point is I am really excited about our new Kaizen way of living.

We are also using this approach in my football training. I got a wild hair and volunteered myself to be apart of our staff retreat football tournament. What was I thinking? I really don’t know anything about football- which Jerry can not believe considering I was on the field for 4 years. I can’t believe it either to tell you the truth. I thought something would have sunk in?? But rather than recant my commitment to the team Jerry has decided I must submit myself to his vigorous training.
We just had our first “practice” and can I just say I have really improved! I learned to hike the ball and even run out and catch it! And I only got hit in the face once.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

the morning

today i had one of those mornings where i woke up feeling Self more than God's presence, ten to one. there was no real reason for me to feel this way cause it was just a morning like any other but i just couldn't seem to shake that blah feeling (the kind where you'd rather be anywhere else than in your own skin... maybe i am alone in this feeling?)
anyway, the night before i was reminded of one of my favorite songs that i hadn't heard in a while and so this morning i sat down, popped in my ipod and listened. the song is called In Christ Alone (it's actually the one that i had sweet dawntoya sing in our wedding- I think there are a few versions but my favorite is the live one by Rita Springer, something about that raspy voice gets me every time).
if i were really high tech i'd post a link to the song but alas you all know that's beyond my skill level- but what i can do is post the lyrics. they are so full of Gospel and fill me with joy and hope. enjoy

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

Saturday, October 6, 2007


Saturday, September 29, 2007

Oh GLORIOUS daaaaaaaay!

Unless you have experienced this you are not going to feel my joy.

So right after we got married Jer and i were donated a Maytag washer and dryer by his sweet grandmother who was updating her own set. The dryer was old and the washer even older but to a newly married couple they were gold!

Well low and behold the younger of the set blew up.

Note to the reader
This was seriously devastating for me not being a person who likes to iron. I was so spoiled by that dryer- just throwing things in for a few minutes to shake the wrinkles out.

Character Development
Let me list out for you a few more "joys" of my tribulation:
*Trudging back and forth- rain or shine- to the apartment laundry mat
*Starting a load of wash at night only to realize we just have two (of the three) quarters on hand
*The miraculous weight gain of clothes soaked with water (this usually forced me to enlist the strength of my husband)
*Wondering if your clothes would actually be dry this time when you picked them up
*Wondering if your clothes would be shrunk when you picked them up
*Wondering if your clothes would be there at all when you picked them up

Today my father in law (in from Alabama) and my brother in law (in from Oklahoma) came over to saturate them selves with football AND take a look at our dryer to see if a Maytag memorial needed to be held or if a resurrection attempt might be made. Well in my anxiety over the future of our little Maytag i did what any other girl would do- I went to the mall. And guess what... after a rather complicated wire transplant and lots of love and prayer... our little May was REVIVED!!!!!!!

So as i type little May is humming a long! Way to go Dr. John!!!!!

Foot note
It really is the little things in life :)

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Game of tag about your man

I was tagged by Natalie!

1. Who is your man? John Gerald (some wedding presents we got were addressed to John and Cynthia, ha!)
2. How long have you been together? married 6 months, together two years total in December
3. How long dated? dated 8 months engaged 8 months
4. How old is your man? 28 on Halloween!
5. Who eats more? umm hopefully Jerry!
6. Who said "I love you" first? He did about 2 months in on Super Bowl Sunday ;)
7. Who is taller? Jer
8. Who sings better? Jer
9. Who is smarter? hmm we both have different strengths??
10. Whose temper is worse? we are both pretty laid back but if i had to pick i would say Jerry (but that's just cause i fight with silence which is not really but better!)
11. Who does the laundry? we tyipically do our own actually but Jer usually carries the basket of clothes to the apt dryer (ours croaked)
12. Who takes out the garbage? Jerry praise the Lord!
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I sleep on the right unless we are in a hotel then i like the side with a night stand
14. Who pays the bills? we both do our part but mostly me
15. Who is better with the computer? Jerry hands down
16. Who mows the lawn? When we get a yard i am sure Jerry will do all that- he loves it
17. Who cooks dinner? Cook??? actually i am ramping that up lately- just ask Andrea and Lee Lewis ;)
Jerry: "Babe i feel like i need to eat more rounded meals"
Lauren: "What you mean like dinners?"
18. Who drives when you are together? Jer
19. Who pays when you go out? Whoever has the cash.
20. Who is most stubborn? toss up, hit the right button and we are both pretty tough
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? we are both exceptional at this- ha!
22. Whose parents do you see the most? actually it's pretty equal even though his parent live in Alabama they are always having to come in town for something which i love!
23. Who kissed who first? ok i totally kissed him first but i was an ACCIDENT- i was aiming for his check!!!
24. Who asked who out? You mean after our first "not a date"? He asked everytime :)
25. Who proposed? Jerry :)
26. Who is more sensitive? Hmm, i asked Jer and he says me :)
27. Who has more friends? With in the city limits- me, include the world- Jerry beats everyone
28. Who has more siblings? We tie with two families of 5
29. Who wears the pants in the family? (Um for the record i don't like how this question is worded) but Jerry is for sure the leader :)

Um, i don't know alot of married people to tag! None of them have blogs! ha! mom i think you should start a blog so i am tagging you!! Jen have you been tagged??

Thursday, September 13, 2007

why i love my blog

Tuesday night we had dinner with a couple and we got to talking about a myriad of things ranging from college pranks and well back to college pranks. at one point though we were talking about extroverts vs introverts and where we fall on the scale. i typically described my self as shy but have never understood why because i have lots to say and an intense desire to be known.

i have always loved being asked questions and i am beginning to realize why. it's the assurance that the person asking really wants an answer and more importantly has allotted time in their life to hear it (although i try to get my answer out in ten words or less).

i have this weird unaccounted for fear that while i am pouring my heart out someone will just get up and walk away. i guess it's the fear of rejection or being misunderstood?
i don't know why being misunderstood sounds like death to me but it does. what's so funny though is that i often feel misunderstood cause i don't just come out with what i am thinking! catch 22. (can we say FOM!)

so i've realized that like questions i do even better if the conversation time is mapped out. for example: a car ride, over dinner, ect. things where i know ok i have "X" amount of time to talk. loco, i know.

but if there is no set amount of time to talk then i assume the other person has things to do and is really just interested in sharing a polite nod and then being on there way. so when ever i run into people or in situations where i am forced to mingle (ie: most of life) i find myself trying to end conversations to save the other person the awkwardness of having to end it themselves!

so this brings me to why i love my blog. i feel like i have a little slot of time to share my thoughts. although i do worry keeping it short cause i know most people have probably trailed off... by now!

so there you go. if you have ever though i seem rude cause i say hello and then do an about face this is partly why! sheesh.

please hand me a blue chip

the color code

ok so i stole this blog from rebekah so all the "fun" credit goes to her! anyway i thought this was pretty close! if you want to give it a go it's these tests always take me twice as long as they should cause i am SO indecisive!!

Congratulations. You are WHITE. WHITES are motivated by PEACE. They seek independence and require kindness. They resist confrontation at all costs. To them, feeling good is more important than being good. They are typically quiet by nature, process things very deeply and objectively with great clarity. Of all the colors, WHITES are the best listeners. They respect people who are direct but recoil from perceived hostility or verbal battle.

WHITES need their "alone time" and refuse to be controlled by others. WHITES want to do things their own way and in their own time. They ask little of others and resent others demanding much of them. WHITES are much stronger than people think, but are not often seen for their strength because they don't easily reveal their feelings. WHITES are even-tempered, diplomatic, and the voice of reason; but can also be indecisive, unexpressive, and silently stubborn. When others interact with you, as a WHITE you respond to them best if they are kind, accepting and supporting of your individuality, and if they look for non-verbal clues to understand your feelings.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

updates and other things

Well we’ve had three b-days since I’ve last imported pictures:

Kristen's (forgot the camera),

and Geoff’s. Shout out.
Between these two parties I also must mention my husband and my dad who both biked the Hotter ‘n Hell. That is a long race my friends. Jer was on his bike for 6.5 hours! Again, shout out. And finally, I must recognize the bible that hug on miraculously to the back bumper of Zig’s car as they drove 25min on GWB and the Dallas toll way! Seriously it just sat there on the edge wedged between nothing and nothing. This is a pic of Jer, Zig and Parker heading out for the race!

Labor Day was a great day cause I got to see sweet Dawntoya! Since all our pool parties are jinxed* we had to relocate in doors. Here’s a pic of Mel, Sum, Dawn and I all picking out and claiming our baby names. Yes, we would all be crazy if every girl** alive didn’t admit to doing the same thing. So we all swore an oath and signed in blood that we wouldn’t steal each other’s names. You know, the usual.

Later that night Jerry and I went on a date to Bonsai Sushi!

It’s so cute when anyone walks in all the waiters and staff stop what they are doing and say, “allo!” which causes everyone in the restaurant already seated to stop and stair at the entering party. So funny!

Anyway I do have a personal update but that will have to wait till the next blog.
*Yes in the past two years ALL our planned pool parties have rained!
**Truth be told Jerry and Jamye chimed in quite a bit too!

Friday, August 24, 2007

sniffing white powdery stuff

before you call the elders you should know that my dealer is L'oreal. i don't know how i manage to do these things but somehow during a rapid make-up application i inhaled a puff of her Pale Bare Naturale. sneezed for about 10 minutes. rough morning.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

8 random facts

***Bex tagged me a while ago but i have for some reason been putting it off casue i thought i would go blank on coming up with 8 random facts. But really once you get going it's not too bad!
{Insert RULES here}
1. I have had posttraumatic amnesia. (Really what amnesia isn’t posttraumatic?? But i like to throw in the full title cause it make it sound more scary/soap opera-ish!) Although i didn’t enjoy the pain that came with the blow to the head I must say, having amnesia is probably one of the coolest things ever. I mean I can understand head bump=bleeding but I can’t fathom head bump= mind acting like an etch-a-sketch. I mean WHAT is going on up there?!
2. I have a fear of getting my eyes poked. I usually have to bend my straws down in my drink at restaurants.
3. I shout at traffic in a Russian accent when alone in my car. (Actually it's probably more of a blend of accents...)
4. I love boiled peanuts and fried green tomatoes. Can you tell my roots are in the South?
5. I would rather cut off my arm than tumble again. (But there is a part of me that would love to take a gymnastics class)
6. I’m truly comfortable in front of a crowd of 80,000 (Go Sooners!!) but sometimes get so nervous in a one-on-one convo I could pass as a mute.
7. Fruit (watermelon, kiwi, bananas, cantaloupe, pomegranate, apples ect.) often makes me more in awe of God’s goodness, provision and grace than most worship and sermons.
8. I have occasional (ok, daily) thirst attacks. I know I am probably totally fabricating them cause all the hydration really does is make me pee every 45min. (However I am STILL a great road trip partner despite what Jerry may say!)

***i think pretty much everyone i stalk has answered these... Andrea B?? have you been tagged?!!

Sunday, August 12, 2007


So I am sitting in my apartment working through a pile of dirty clothes when I feel something come on that resembled an asthma attack. At first I was a bit confused and alarmed but slowly realized that my body was responding to the sudden drop off of vitamin D. So I hustled to get our wet clothes out of the washer and into a laundry basket to be run to the apartment laundry mat (sigh… our 80 year old dryer has finally bit the dust). I thought the remedy might be some time by the pool so as to ease the ocean with-drawls. But as I am rounding the corner that gives view to our pool my heart sinks. A 20X4” pool is simply no match for the breath taking sight that is the Ocean.

Yes for the past week I have been at the Gulf Shores beach living the life (that I am convinced I was made for).

The week began at 4:30am (yes AM) when we clamored in to Jer’s car- me up front, Mel and Jamie (newly ENGAGED!) in the back and Jer at the wheel. And thus was the seating chart for the whole 11 hours.

We finally rolled up to our home for the week and were greeted by John and Lecia, seriously the Best in-laws I could have ever asked for. The rest of the group consisted of Jer's sister Haley, (husband Cody still on call with the Navy); cousin Alissa & husband Brian; brother Grant, wife Sarah & everyone’s favorite of the trip sweet, little, Rhett.

Every night a couple was assigned to cook something. I cooked the only meal I feel comfortable cooking- Mexican pizza. 12 mouths to feed was a little intimidating for someone who just baked her first BOX cake only a few days before.

Hayley, an excellent cook, who made a gourmet meal of peanut chicken also, proved to be a mean jet ski driver! One day, six of us went out to ride jet skis but only three of us had our driver’s license. So the three with the license drove and I was (happily) forced to be a passenger. This was great because I am an excellent leach and thus never thrown off. Oh how I LOVE jet skies in the ocean!!

Like I have hinted at in above paragraphs… I am SUCH a beach person. It’s the only place lying on your back from dusk till dawn catching up on your People magazines is considered “doing” something. Unless you are Jerry of course, then your beach trip will look something more like Boot Camp.

He literally wore him self out EVERYDAY running, throwing, diving, catching, swimming, surfing or… crabbing.

Thirty-two in all!

Yes, he and Jamie had quite the time living their own version of Man Versus Wild. And I quote Jamie directly, “Sometimes when I fly on planes I pray that we will crash on an island like Lost!” Jerry, delighted in having found his sole mate, literally jumped for joy at the idea and said, “YES!! But only with no demonic black cloud-monsters… but actually we could probably cast those out.”

Only time it's ok to leave the beach? A Shopping Spree! Whoo hoo!
Sweet Sarah- Prego with little Hudson- wins the Cutest Prego award.
Like father like son
Last night, all dressed up!
All the boys! (My camera died right before the girl pic, sad.)
Not to sound like the Cleavers but hang out time with family is simply bar none. For example: One night we were playing a board game (yes, board games are a staple in this family) and one of the questions you had to write down a person and a quality you admire most and the challenge actually came in choosing the person. I could have written a paragraph about each.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

birds, bugs and chicken...

Satuday afternoon, driving home from the grocery store, Jerry and i had the strange experience of having a dove land right on our windshield! Yes, we were in the middle of a conversation, sitting a red light when we both jumped and screamed (well maybe i just screamed). This odd looking bird (here on out called Louie) was sitting right up on the windshield staring at us with it's beady little eyes and long neck. we just sat there for what felt like 10 mins looking all at each other before we realized we should take a picture. But the light turned green and we figured he'd fly off realizing his mistake. But no! Long neck Louie just plopped down and made himself comfortable for the ride! It was strange indeed. God is so funny that way! Quirky almost, don't you think!?

Saturday night we had fun going on a triple date with some Jerry's single guy friends that i've come to know and love. i told Jerry i felt like Meg Ryan and Goose out with these two Mavericks trying to get it together! we had a great time downing chips and salsa and laughing mostly about the guy's ridiculous college stories. We even survived a cricket attack.

Sunday night we went to Megan and Stephen's new home and had dinner with Mom, Dad and Scott. Megan cooked a great meal of King chicken casserole followed by key lime pie. Yum! We were eventually called outside to the front yard by the lightning bugs. i haven't seen them in forever but have gallons of child memories that include chasing, catching and sadly, even demolishing.

scott, me and megan

yes, that's a little one on my finger.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

the underdog

Well one thing I though I’d never be caught doing alone, more or less bloging about, is watching a Rocky movie. I don’t know if my mom tossed me outside too much when I was little or what but I missed out on a bunch of the classic movies of the 80’s and thus never took to them. I always laughed at the Rocky series and refused to see them. But in defense of the 80’s I really have never liked “sports movies” in general. Don’t get me wrong I love sports but to me the movies always have the same boring plot and all too accurately timed one-liners.
But anyway, I found myself at home alone one night while Jer played in a volleyball game and decide out of boredom to pop in the latest Rocky and have my laughs at this poor old man trying to have another go at the same old plot. BUT let me tell you, I ate my words! There I was in the palm of the director’s hand shuddering at the gruesome training and rooting for the underdog! That Rocky, he’s pretty tough.
Like all inspirational movies this one got me thinking of my own life; about setting some goals and even longing for some grueling training myself. But that’s where I hit a problem: I seem to have a missing piece of the puzzle.
Ok, for example, I’ve noticed that Jerry and I are very different in these kinds of things (but we actually make a great team). Jerry has always been very confident in knowing what he wants and what his goals are but it’s less natural for him to stay the path and maintain focus.
I on the other hand can stay the monotonous path till there’s nothing left of me but have an extremely hard time figuring out what it is that I am trying to accomplish in the first place. I have in fact prayed many times that if God will just put me in the right lane and say, “On your marks, get set, go” then I would gladly run as hard as I could in the straightest path you’ve ever seen.
But alas, our all-knowing God figures as much about me and is trying to grow me by letting me find the starting point my self. And oh the analogies flow! What sport? Which race? How much does it cost? Do I have the right gear? Am I properly trained? Who will coach me? Will I be more annoying to them than a toothache? Would anyone want me on their team? Can I even figure out how to Mapquest the location in order to show up on time??!! And this is how my mind works. Before I even get going I’ve lost all steam.
And I am not even talking about the classic “who should I marry/what job do I take” questions. It’s deeper than that. It’s an overarching “how am I doing at life” question. In the past, I think I’ve taken to having goals in place cause they are somewhat of a distraction for the truth that I may not really know what I am doing at all! I know that my ultimate purpose is to bring glory to God but must admit that lots of the time I am not even really sure I know what that means.
Among all the confusion I do understand the word “complete.” I can only take hope that God, who more than understands my heart, will finish what he started and understands that I am but dust.
Dang, I kept hoping that this blog will end up something uplifting with the Rocky sound track playing behind it! My poor discipler! I have not found her yet but don’t think I am not praying her in!!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

oh the rain..

here is another fun pic of an attempt at a pool party. we all had a moment of GroupThink and decided that just cause it was cloudy and the weather man predicted rain we'd probably be ok. so we fired up the grill, lathered on the sunscreen and headed out for a fun Memorial Day at the pool... only to be shooed back inside about 20 min later by a down poor that left everyone soaked to the core. it actually turned out to be a pretty memorable day! we ate soggy hamburgers, hot dogs with no buns, and Miss Lindsay Moffet's famous chocolate chip cookies. i am telling you, if you have not tasted these you are truly missing out my friend. just don't bother asking her for the recipe- it's top secret. but don't worry, i have plans that include her, me and a bottle of tequila till i get it out of her!

cinco de mayo/ house warming/we love our friends

well since i am just starting all this i have to get you up to speed. i am recently married to the love of my life JERRY WILLIAMS! we have had so much fun getting our apartment set up and learing to function like two married adults. Jerry keeps me laughing pretty much non stop- i could not ask for a more loving, understanding husband. pray for that boy! he has one complicated wife he's called to love! but he's doing pretty dang well! anyway here are two pics of our House Warming/Cinco de Mayo party. it was a ton of fun! since we've been engaged we have been praying for a house full of people to love on and have fun with and on this night that is what we got!

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Clean slate

If you know me well at all you probably know that I have an aversion to all things computer (please don’t tell my employers… I need to uphold the guise of competence). Anyway, due to several unfortunate encounters, computers and I have agreed to disagree. Of course in spite of our differences we have come to some terms of agreement when it comes to emailing, checking the bank account and such. But for the most part we try and avoid each other.

Despite all this, starting a blog has been an on going desire for a while (partly so I could finally comment on all the other great blogs out there!) but I never really thought of actually creating one myself. Kind of like the way one thinks of other people that run marathons- not something I’d be good at or able to do. Kinda silly thinking but that is just the undercurrent of thought that I have.

But anyway, I've decided that i am going to overcome a sliver of my fears and take on this blogging thing! …Or at lease try it out for a little while. Really this is quite a leap for me you have no idea! In fact speaking of fears, this is hopefully going to be a new trend in my life- overcoming them I mean. I will keep you posted (no pun intended) on how all that is going. But for now I have wiped the slate clean and am starting afresh- Lauren: 1 Fears: 0