uprooting anger

I have never thought much about anger until about 6 months into marriage. Call me naïve but I was kind of shocked to see it coming out in me. It was probably just as prevalent during times living with roommates, but roommates are different; you know they are short term. You can sweep things under the rug and just grin-and-bear-it. But with marriage, it’s clearly different for one reason- the commitment is until God decides to kill me or until He returns to take me home.
Once married, I continued with my usual sweeping anger under rug and finally it dawned on me that I didn’t want to deal with a mountain of stale dust at the 5 year mark. (Especially if I have kids and ESPECIALLY if they are anything like me!)

One day Michael (who I work for) had me order some new books that we are going to start offering at Recovery. Really, I could do to read all of them but the first one that caught my eye was “Uprooting Anger” by Robert D. Jones.
The major draw for me in this book was that I didn’t really understand anger. I have heard people talk about righteous anger and refer to Jesus in the New Testament, and God through out, having anger, so I know that righteous anger is such a thing. I also know that when my husband agrees to return a blockbuster video and then forgets, I get angry! I think my original question was do I have an argument here?! Am I allowed to vent my “righteous anger” at my husband during these times? (I mean clearly, being timely with your rentals is the Right Thing to DO! Am I right or am I right?!)

Ok, obviously I am being a bit factious, but only a bit. I really wanted to understand my anger. If it’s ungodly then with all my heart I want to know.

Let me tell you; I picked up the right book. I have seen my wicked heart and, even more, God’s graciousness so clearly. Although there has been much conviction reading this book there has also been so much joy!! My poor husband has probably grown weary of my running to him to read aloud the newest paragraph that has brought light to my eyes. I can’t think of one person who should not read this.
This book is not merely for people that yell and scream but for the people that have anger in their heart- displayed or not.

I am only on chapter 6 but had to post a little more about the content.

Chapter 1- What is anger?
Chapter 2- Is your anger really righteous?
Chapter 3- Getting to the heart of anger
Chapter 4- Repentance- the road to uprooting heart anger
Chapter 5- Changing our angry behavior: Sinful reveling
Chapter 6- Changing our angry behavior: Sinful concealing
Chapter 7- Anger against God
Chapter 8- Anger against yourself
Chapter 9- Helping others deal with their anger
Chapter 10- Why you must deal with your sinful anger

In chapter 2 he gives three criteria for righteous anger.
1.It reacts against actual sin (as defined in the bible).
2.It focuses on God and His kingdom, rights and concerns, not on me and my kingdom, rights and concerns
3. It’s accompanied by other godly qualities and expresses itself in godly ways.

Although human anger can be righteous, most is not (surprise). This book invites such opportunities to repent and drawn near to God who will provide us with grace in times of anger!

One funny story before I end this too long blog. If you haven’t picked up by now I am usually the clean freak between Jerry and I. He has this loving habit of buying a 6 pack of beer, putting it in the fridge, drinking it over a period of time and Leaving the Box in the Fridge! See, clearly the Right thing to do is to Throw Away the box. When I Lovingly Remind him to Kindly place his box in the trash he looks at me and says, “Babe, it’s my trademark move.”
Classic. :)