bending properly at the knees

Let me launch into this blog by saying the last few days looked NOTHING like I had planned. I will start with this past Wednesday. After work I headed to LA Fitness with Mallory to tackle our Crossfit (otherwise known as Joshfit) workout for the day. Little did I know I was going to be rather humbled in about 15 minutes. So we started off the workout with tuck jumps (yes, simple tuck jumps). I was literally mid jump when I felt something pull/move/snap/strain whatever you want to call it. When I landed I knew something was VERY wrong. By wrong I mean that I was in intense pain and the thought of blinking an eye more or less taking a step made me break out in a sweat. Thank goodness sweet Mallory was there because I might have stayed frozen in the aerobic room in a state of shock for who knows how long. 

Side Note: I’d like to add a word of warning here: I went to the gym wearing my retainer… I thought to myself, “I probably won’t talk to anyone anyways?” Classic assumption. Don’t make the same mistake I did. 

So Mallory ran to get my cell phone even though I had no idea how that would help but isn’t just holding a cell phone comforting?!

I am not exactly sure how the rest of the few moments went down except that I blacked out and was battling losing my lunch on the aerobic room floor. Throwing up was the last thing I wanted to happen; one, because I feared the pain that would be induced from the hurling motion and two, because I would never be able to show my face in LA Fitness again. So I held it together based on pride and fear and eventually the nausea went away. When the ambulance driver (yes, ambulance- it seemed the only course of action seeing that I couldn’t move) showed up he told me blacking out and feeling sick was a result of my body dealing with pain by releasing a tsunami of endorphins. Isn’t that interesting?! I am constantly amazed at the way God made our bodies. Are we not complex little things?!

Anyway, Jer had been called and was waiting for us by the time we reached the Lewisville Hospital (which I would not recommend; although I would highly recommend the Highland Village ambulance people- they were wonderful). On the ride over I had been given two shots of morphine, which did Nothing. I always thought morphine was a big to-do drug but in my opinion it was the equivalent of water. Once we got into our curtained room they gave me a couple more shots to help with the pain and I was finally able to be moved enough to get an x-ray which showed it was not a bone problem (yea!) but just muscle which meant about a 4 week healing period.

We finally got out of there a few hours later with a couple prescriptions and one doped up Lauren. I thought the adventure for the night was beginning to simmer down once we got home but, no!  I guess I decided I needed to puke a couple of times (yep, painful as I’d imagined!) Finally I eased myself into bed, or should I say Jerry eased me into bed.

During those moments at the gym while waiting on the ambulance I felt a gentle nudge of conviction about how often I take my functioning body for granted or more correctly how often I straight up complain about it. It’s one thing to have a cognitive understanding that I am in total dependence on the Lord for every single cell in my body to function normally, but it’s quite another to experience a reminder of that. It’s so easy to assume that I deserve to walk, run and (tuck) jump but instead of being grateful about that I tend to pout about not fitting into those Seven jeans (amen anybody?).

Earlier that week I think the Lord was teaching me something along those lines. I was in a grumpy mood for no reason at all and so I started praying and thanking the Lord for everything (as Jerry always tells me to do even when I’d rather ignore him continue to pout about life). As I was going down the mental list in my mind of things to be thankful for I realized that I sort of unconsciously listed a counter reason for why I am only 50% thankful. My prayer was going something like this: I am thankful for {fill in the blank} but {fill in why I am still not satisfied} I am thankful for … but… So this time for me has been a time of engaging my heart in what I am blessed with. And for the last few days I have been blessed with rest. Lots of rest! About 90% of the day rest!
I need to give a quick shout-out to my mom here for coming over on Thursday and staying home with me since Jerry was at work and again I could barely move with out help. She brought us over lots of yummy food, flowers, did our laundry and EVEN cleaned the bathrooms! Whoa! THANKYOUTHANKYOU!

So that’s the update for me! If all goes well I may have another update coming soon!