don't judge me

In one of my recent blogs I was asked to give details of the hiring and firing in my life. Well it got me thinking about my work history and I’d like to give you a few highlights.

Job 1
Limited Too (Jr. year HS)
I was hired with 3 of my best high school girl friends (the same girls I still do monthly girls night with!) We all went to the mall looking for a job and needed the same hours off for games and practice because we were all in cheerleading. Who in the world would hire 4 girls that could only work the same hours? The Limited Too i guess, cause we all got hired on the spot! Anyways, I ended up getting fired because I didn’t show up for work. I totally forgot. Classic.

Job 2
Daycare (Sr. year HS)
I don’t remember the name of this place but it had the word Tree in it. So I went to apply for this job thinking it would be a good match because I love kids. Well I walk in and it’s a little ghetto, but that’s ok right! Ghetto kids are even more fun to love on! So I give them a smashing interview and wha-la! I am hired. Later that week I come in ready to be assigned a group of children or paired up with a teacher to train me but what do you think happened instead? They handed me a broom and pointed me to the janitor’s closet. Looks like they forgot to mention that by ‘day care worker’ they meant ‘toilet bowl cleaner’ (and let me tell you little potty-training boys have no aim). Now I am not one to quit so I really hung in there for a while thinking that surely they would notice that I was magical with children and move me to a room. Low and behold all they noticed was my deflating attitude in dealing with the kids whose poop went awry that day. Eventually we had a meeting where both parties decided it was not a good fit and that I should pack my bag.

Job 3
The Crack House (Summer during college)
Ok, somehow this is the job I forget about most often- probably it’s a means of self-protection. So I hear from some of my guy friends from high school (first red flag) that they are making good money doing a real easy job (second red flag). I go with them one night, get hired on the spot and get handed my first headset… for my new job as a telemarketer (third red flag). So I suite up and got ready to be trained on my first sales call. They hand me a script that we can use but it’s hinted that we have 'free range'; truth was flexible (flag number 4). So what am I selling? We are calling students (under 18, flag number 5) in high school and asking them if they want to purchase a Parent Appreciation Plaque that will have their school name and mascot on it etcetera. I was only getting a few bites and the natural competitor in me came out; I discovered my own script that really got the job done. I would call and ask for the student, hint that I was a fellow student, hint that this was some sort of student council thing and hint that if they didn’t buy this their parents would be the only ones that didn’t get the plaque. Yes, their parents would have to pay for it when it arrived at the door, but don’t worry, they will be so excited to get their plaque it won’t matter! (I won’t even go into the dog and pony show that the cheap plaque actually was.) Moving on, there’s more ground to cover, more flags to reveal. So after week of a job well done it was time for a paycheck. How do you get a paycheck? You ride with high school guy friends to boss’s house where he pays you in cash (flagflagflag). Not to mention your boss is always (ahem, flag) way cracked out. The final red flag is given out for the day when I showed up for work and the place was abandoned. And that's how that one ended.

Job 4
Realtor’s assistant (another college summer)
Not much to say here except that I guess I didn’t learn my lesson from the last experience cause I got paid in cash here too. It was real shady everyone was crazy. To this day they still owe me $700.

I think after that most my jobs were legit- or at least legal.