what was that!!??

Short story:
So I knew that in buying a house there would be moments that would push me out of my comfort zone. For example, I have tried to come to terms that there are going to be times when the toilet breaks and I have no landlord to call. Or there might be a time when the AC goes out and there is no Work Order form to fill out while I wait for the job to be completed. I also mentally prepared myself for the vast world of Yard Work and the even vaster world of Yard Work Expenses. BUT what I did not prepare myself for was the semi-wooded area that we would live in and all things ‘wooded’ that would come with it.
For example:
Since we have been living in our house I have twice been followed in by a little gecko. Now I don’t want to be a total complainer here, because while I don’t like any creature that is small and moves faster than me, I must say I prefer a little gecko over all other multi-legged creatures. But Still! I am not about to touch one! So both times I calmly screamed for Jerry while the gecko and I lock eyes in wait.
So:
I come home from work one day minding my own business and head toward the front door. As I near the door I hear loud scurrying behind me and look down to see a miniature alligator running full speed toward my feet. I am not kidding. This overgrown, gecko/crocodile/monster was charging me and I reacted with more failing and screaming than I new I had in me. I am sure that our neighbors raised an eyebrow in wonder at my wild-ethnic-rain-dance or maybe they just nodded in sympathy having also encountered this beast. Who knows? All I was concerned with was getting the heck inside. If I would have felt even one scale of that thing on my toe I am convinced I would have died on the spot. Anyways, it missed my feet and nailed it’s head on the door frame with a loud “THUNK” and then ran off in the other direction as I plunged through the door into safety.
Or so I thought:
Another day I was mindlessly making a mental list of a few odds and ends that I needed to run to the store to pick up. I grabbed my purse and headed up the road to our local Kroger. Normally Jerry and I prefer to do our grocery shopping at Nieman’s (otherwise know as the new Walmart) but I was in a hurry and just needed one or two things. Ready to checkout I headed to the self-checkout area and scan my goods. I snapped open my little coin purse to pull out a $20 and low and behold a Maniac Gecko comes flying out like Superman of his kind and lands smack on the scanner! Of course by this point the checkout line has grown so I have quite the crowd going to watch the new and improved rain-dance. This one had more hard stomps and less flailing arms, all the while sending a message via intense eye’s and head jerks to the 16 year old Kroger worker who was staring at me with a blank expression. The kid just looked at me and said, ‘Where’d that come from?’ Too embarrassed to admit that I was one of those people that carried crawly things around with them I just said, ‘I don’t know!’ and grabbed my receipt and left.
All that it say:
Please don’t judge me. I promise we are not bug people. Jerry has promised to ‘handle’ the situation on account of knowing his wife’s sanity is on the line. I hope you still feel safe to come over… but understand if you don’t. Sheesh.